Monday, August 23, 2010

If The World's At Large Why Should I Remain?

The song "World at Large" by Modest Mouse is one of the most fitting descriptions of my inner workings I've ever heard / read. I wish I wrote it. It does make me feel better to know I'm not the only one who feels the way the song describes.

"I like songs about drifters, books about the same, they both seem to make me feel a little less insane" ha, see?!

It's almost akin to the feeling I would get when I was 17; reading Kerouac and wondering why his books didn't seem to resonate so clearly with most of the people I know.

I'm unsure of what it is I'm looking for, and I wonder if I've already missed it. If it was comfort, love, and stability I sure as hell passed it up in favor of the unknown. The prospect of adventure, however small-scale it may be is way more appealing.

I don't feel as if I inadvertently left a near-perfect life behind. The contrary; I've felt better overall since leaving what I did.

Slowly, the realization has hit me; it comes down to people vs. places vs. things.

What to do when every piece of the puzzle fits perfectly, the puzzle's almost totally complete- save for one missing piece. And you know exactly where the piece is but to retrieve it you'd have to forget about the rest of the puzzle. Is that one piece more valuable than the junction of all the rest?
I honestly don't know, I can't decide. I could spend an entire lifetime undecided.

Is this what growing older is supposed to be like?

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

I'm With Conor.

"I believe that lovers should be tied together
Thrown into the ocean in the worst of weather
Left there to drown
Left there to drown in their innocence"