logophilia

It came early this year
Urgency ordinarily ordered away
Insistent, irrepressible, irreducible, indisputable
Heavy as stone

(Rain, rain, wash everything clean
Help to wipe out these places we've been
Slick, wet, and shiny- each surface pristine
Clear away the aftermath, absolve us these sins)

We sang out for lapis lazuli skies
Childishly chirrupy, sprightly and spirited
Unexpecting, unsuspecting, turned dejected left bereft
"Sun", lied the forecast

(Rain, rain, wash everything clean
We don't want to remember these places we've been
Whisk away the dirt that's marred us obscene
Birth a new day to help thicken our skin)

Still

Back East the leaves turn and fall
I am still alone
Two years left behind a good man and my home
I am still alone
Pages get torn up and smells washed away
I am still alone
Optimism breeds contempt because
I am still alone
Playing the role women are meant for
but I am still alone
Changing and pushing and trying myself
I am still alone
Sleepwalking with a dream man surreal
and now I'm left alone
Begging time for its slow sweet heal
every time I feel alone
The leaves turned this way round this time last year
I'd just been left alone
I learned to forget, I slept and I met
and then found myself alone
I miss the men I've hugged and I've loved
all those plans which came to no fruition
I ache for the one man I still haven't met
I'm tired of being alone

Dichotomy

I burn to be consumed, I ache to be exhumed
Inside I hold the sunrise you've coaxed out of me too soon
The push and pull is too much for my w(e)ary head to weather
My thirst- to be free as the breeze, My hunger- a sturdy tether

A Poem, I Guess

If you need to be a free bird I don't want to clip your wings
You can fly around the Earth, come back and tell me real things
I may do the same as you but take a different route
To ensure our tales will never leave us feeling we've been cooped

This Season...

autumn chill i crave the ember of a glowing cigarette
coffee- black, and some leaves to crunch through
hair to match the drink that warms my hand
and straightens out its own bends, so unlike me

a mass of people so colossal there are no faces
or features to distinguish beautiful from ugly
the energy emitted surrounds them in a cloud
only i can feel.

bridges may break, they always burn
when kept to my watchful eyes
with one false step the structure sways
the lows offset the highs

A lot of copying, a little inspiration

Part of growing older is learning to forget
Part of moving forward is paying off your debts
I moved to where the sun sets, lays its head to rest
Neither one to blame here, I'll always second guess

in the key of C

In this world of work and hangovers
Where will your golden hand lay its touch?
In this world of work and hangovers
Where will your golden hand lay its touch?
The city lights tonight
The city nights, the light
Provide me with the feeling
The roots to be strong
What about when they go out
For me you've all burnt out
And the day can't repay this debt in your name
I should've known... I should've known... I should've known
You'd be leaving soon

edited:

We were twins once, one short one tall
"Come and see my sister from another mister yall"
"Lookit her face, isn't she a dawll?"
We were twins once, one short one tall

We ran the show, yes we did yes we did
You couldn't tell us what to do
We ran the show, whiskey and gin whiskey and gin
Told us what to do not you

I had a sister once, she kept me on my toes
A jug in hand, a sneer in place
Smoke comin out her nose
I had a sister once, she kept me on my toes

She grew tired, I got hurt
She grew angry, my anger's worse!

I think ya know how this story goes
I had a twin once
I had a sister once
She kept me on my toes
I had a twin once, one of us had to go...

truth

And all the things that make you sad
Give me hope
Everything that makes you sick
Helps me cope
I love you so, my bones still ache
They resonate
My bones still ache
They resonate

I've been craving solitude every single day
"Soon enough spring will come" you all gently say
As if I've never felt sun and its healing rays
The instrument she lent- I'll imagine its curves
Round and full like hers
Like the lump in my throat
Choking out the only words I can think to say that won't betray
What we both know-
A name with no face is easier to blame than the idea of a willingness to change
I won't stray again, last night was like coming home
But the lights were all out

3/10

Your grip won't leave
My thoughts can't turn to anything
Innocent
With or without (you) I forget
Where I end, where you begin
Let the distance that keeps us apart
Separate our codependent hearts
I travel alone
I sleep alone
I drink alone
Hoping to learn myself

Your grip won't release
My thoughts aren't lonely
With or without (you) it's the same
As real as ever
As absent as always

A clear vision of your face
Threatens casually, lest I forget
There won't soon be another.

I just found something I wrote 4 years ago

You gotta have no shame
To live a life like this
The most robust vessel imaginable
Where plans won't suffice
Everything's a game, don't say it's cleverly orchestrated
You're 18 years old and machines will be pointing fingers and laughing
When you've fallen off your well oiled tracks.

Bad Day

phantom limb
you follow me everywhere i go
you've been missing for years
but we act like we don't know

a voice on the phone
a dream in the day
an itch in my throat
it won't go away

phantom limb
where did i leave you behind?
it was years ago
the question is why

i don't wanna grow older
i don't wanna grow wise
i don’t wanna walk this road without you
look me in the eyes

phantom limb
tell me you’ll come back
with a life of your own
together we will grow